The Art & Joy of Giving
Do you really know yourself? What you think makes you happy, may not actually be making you smile all that much.
Long before I was a minor personal finance celebrity, I studied psychology in college. I found everything about the human psyche to be fascinating, from the consciousness to the unconsciousness, and everything in between. I loved psychology because so many of the research conclusions were totally surprising - and opposite of what we would consider to be normal behavior.
For example, we’ve all heard from our parents at one point or another, “Will you jump off a cliff if everyone else was doing it?” Psychology says, you just might. Conformity, or group think, says that humans tend to try fitting in to the rest of the group even when the rest of the group is doing something totally odd. Alas, the elevator experiment:
We are bombarded with ads that make it feel like gifting is the norm during the holidays. And while gifting is not bad, all those ads can make us go a bit overboard. For ideas on how to take in all the holiday goods without going broke or feeling guilt because you couldn’t afford extravagant gifts, check out my latest post on the Harvard Business Review.
HBR - How to Get Through the Holidays Without Going Broke
Another surprising study just in time for this holiday season is that those who spent money on SOMEONE ELSE reported higher increase in their happiness than the group who spent money on THEMSELVES. A similar study across different parts of the world consistently showed that giving gifts, not receiving gifts, increased happiness more.
If you are interested in learning more about money & happiness, I highly recommend the book Happy Money: The Science of Happier Spending, by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton.
While gifting someone else like your friends and family may increase your happiness, consider giving to charity this year. If you are new to giving, I have a few unsolicited suggestions.
How to start giving
This may sound obvious, but just start. I’ve worked with millionaires that give, and those that don’t give, and learned that giving has less to do with how much you have and more to do with your mindset. Giving is a matter of habit. It’s unreasonable to expect that someone that does not give $10 today will give $1,000 when they are wealthier. If you can form a habit of giving back just $10 today, you are more likely to give $100, $1,000, and $10,000 as you get wealthier. Besides, every dollar counts.
I understand that not everyone can give money. Good news is that charities need both financial help and volunteers. There are hundreds of opportunities to volunteer, from your local food bank to volunteering abroad, so called voluntourism.
Not all charities are created equal. Websites like charitynavigator.com provide transparency in how much of the funding goes towards their programs. All charitable organizations have overhead, but you might be surprised to find that the CEO’s of some of the bigger nonprofits are paid millions of dollars. Do a little research before you give your precious time and money.
Weird fact about me: I have an exquisite taste for… water. I like to call myself a water aficionado, others call me a water snob.
When I heard that dirty water and poor sanitation kills over 5000 children every day, I wanted to help. I worked with an organization called charity: water back in 2009 to raise $5,000, which was enough to drill a well for clean water in a village in Kenya. It was enough to provide water for 500 people for 20 years!
One of these wells were funded by my friends and family! Source: charity water
I learned a few of things from this experience:
Helping those in need does make you feel good, not because you feel like a superhero, but because you recognize how grateful you are for everything in your life.
Asking others for money is really hard. It’s uncomfortable, and you won’t hear back from most people. Therefore, every dollar counts. Give $5, $10, or whatever you can afford, the organizer and the charity will be grateful for every dollar.
Giving is not tied to wealth - it is part of someone’s character. You’ll be surprised at who gives what.
Just because someone does not give to your cause, does not mean that they are heartless. There are thousands of causes that need help, and what’s important to you may not be a priority for someone else.
Year end is my favorite time of the year. It’s a time of reflection, thanksgiving, and time with friends and family. It’s been a tough 2020, and you have a lot to be proud of, and thankful for. Take in all the holiday spirit this season without the stress.
If you found this article to be helpful and would like to work with me to develop and execute a financial strategy for you, schedule a call with me.
Happy Holidays.
